i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
