the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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