Define "chronic" masturbator.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Boobs are out for the taking
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
im on a boat
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