I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
