I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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