It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
