Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
