Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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