he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
