the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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