i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
