my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
