and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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