i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
