i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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