I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My hand turned me down
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
