You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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