i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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