Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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