just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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