btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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