You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
