I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My life is pants optional.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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