How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
