come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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