you turned your livingroom into a bong?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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