I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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