I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
