I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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