I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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