office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
