He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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