Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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