doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
