Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
