On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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