can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
