I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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