Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
