how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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