I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
