I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
