If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
