Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
