I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
