So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
