I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
