We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
