hotel room ftw
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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