I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
