I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
